June 2008
5 posts
Confessional
I’ve yet to see Wall-E
Letter to Dunkin Donuts
Hey DD, It’s me, Massachusetts, you know, the guy who spends 70% of his disposable income on your products. Yeah, uh… we need to have a talk.
Let me start by just reiterating that I love your coffee, and I friggin love your donuts. In the past year or two though, I’ve started questioning your commitment to our relationship. You just don’t seem like you care about me as much. I feel like an...
1984
CCTV Director: So we are scheduled to put up more cameras in Canonbury Square next month, have you secured the equipment yet?
Worker: Yes well we have the cameras, sir, but there is this one little thing...
CCTV Director: A problem? What?
Worker: Well you see, Mr. Livingston, Canonbury Square is where Orwell lived.
CCTV Director: ...
Worker: George Orwell
CCTV Director: I don't follow. I don't watch reality TV.
Worker: No, sir, he was a writer. He kind of predicted this sort of thing would be happening.
CCTV Director: Sounds like a smart fellow. What's the problem though?
Worker: No, sir, that sort of IS the problem. He predicted the cameras and such in Britain. But as a bad thing.
CCTV Director: A BAD thing? Why could it be a bad thing? We are fighting terrorism, looking for Bin Laden!
Worker: Yes, I know, but he saw it as an invasion of privacy and breaching of rights.
CCTV Director: That sounds like terrorist mumbo jumbo. We are living in a time of peace, why would we violate peoples rights?
Worker: We are actually at war sir...
CCTV Director: Same thing.
Kirk Fogg
Have you watched any episodes of Legends of the Hidden Temple lately? Kirk Fogg may in fact be the most creepy adult host of a childrens show I’ve seen in my entire life. Rewatch them if you can, and try and tell me he doesn’t dig those kids.
Overheard at work
While at my day job today (Underground unfortunately doesn’t pay for itself yet, so the dream of working full time there is still just that for now), one of the girls I work with was talking about her daughter. I was casually listening in while making a drink and found out that her daughter, 8 years old, is funnier than most 20 year olds I know.
“Mommy is Santa Claus real?”
...