If you don’t know me that well, I unfortunately don’t have the traffic or advertising revenue for Underground to pay the bills with working for the internet. That’s why I ALSO work at a very large international scale coffee shop with a green and white logo. Get it?

Anyway so I’m working the other day and a fellow comes in, talking to himself. I knew it was bad from the beginning. He walks up to the register where a girl is working, and pulls out a picture of Kirsten Dunst. Then, he procedes to announce that Kirsten Dunst is his friend, and she was molested by federal agents when she was five. Then he went into a corner and began mumbling to himself.

W.T.F.

If I was a crazy person, which may happen one day, I would have a much better spiel. C’mon man, he wasn’t even trying. I mean it was crazy and all, but celebrity infatuation? So cliche.

If I was a crazy person, I would want the question of my sanity to be vague. Perhaps I would dress in all white and whisper premonitions into people’s ears while they weren’t looking. Then when they look back to see who was talking, they see a man dressed in all white disappearing around the corner. THAT would be crazy.

Either that I would have a pet lion. That’s crazy and badass

Yeah.